Psychotic Princess

The Ranting Tales of a Raving Lunatic...

There You Are

October 24, 2006

The other night
I was drifting off to sleep
And there you were
Flesh and blood,
Not a figment of my dreams,
As you were
20 years ago
I said it couldn't get any worse, and I reached out to help
You said, you'd be surprised how much worse things can get.

I've had visits in my dreams
Haunts in the winds
Of all the mistakes I've ever made
Of every love I've ever lost
Of every time I've shut the door on the past.

How could you do this to me?

It's almost Halloween.
I'm listening to the crying clown
He gets it you know. He speaks of my soul.
He sings of the violence, the abuse, the pain, the death, the denial.
Come in closer...

And there you are
Just like you were 12 years ago
the bed lowers, and the curtains close.

Addiction is what killed you.

And there you are
Just like you were 9 years ago
the phone goes dead, and a week later you're gone.

Addiction is what killed you.

Addiction, the quiet escape from the real world.
With the chemicals gone, I feel too much.
I watch the struggle, the never ending cycle
Friends who come, and friends who go
Love killed by addiction, and created by addiction.

And there are so many others
Doors closed, doors opened
Those gone, but not forgotten
Those lost to my own demons
Goodbye and farewell.

And there you were, whispering, 20 years ago
You told me he would die.
Why are you back?
Why am I dreaming of memorials
The virgin
Why am I seeing murder and violence in my dreams.

Why are you back to torment me?