I Am Alive and I Am Free...
I needed this
A good cry, a good wish
A broken life
My heart
I've lost it all, and I can't feel the way I used to
I try to reach inside so I can tell you how I feel
And I just feel this overwhelming grief
I am so dissapointed in me
I am not allowed to hurt
But my heart is breaking
You never lied
they never lied
you always loved
they always loved
But all I feel is betrayed
You used me
They used me
You're going to bleed me dry
And then cast me aside
Just make an honest woman out of me
Don't make me have to be stronger than I am
I just want to love you
I just want you to need me
And only me.
But I can't break again
I can't be wrong again
I can't start over again
I can't die again
I have to prove that it doesn't hurt anymore
Because I've never been allowed to cry
I have to pretend I'm over it all now
But inside I just want to die.
Take this burden
I don't want it anymore
Take every day that I cried
And keep it for yourself
You can have that in place of my love
You can take every scar
And hold those in the night to keep you warm
Because inside I'm so cold.
Take every lie ever told, and you can construct my life
Take every time I cried, and you can keep this life
Because I just don't want it anymore
I just don't want this life anymore
Death wont come easy enough
And I don't want to admit I'm giving up.
- March 5, 2006