Psychotic Princess

I used to write about my thoughts and feelings every day
But it’s funny how life just seems to get in the way
I’ve got work, love, friends, my dreams,
I’m pushing on to make all of this into something
And yet sometimes I feel nothing.

I’m riding the train, with a quiet moment to write
My hands rest on my laptop keys
I’m thinking about all the things I need to do
And all the things I want to do
And none of it seems enough to satiate my thirst for life.

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning
In a pool of shallow water
The surface just above my head
And yet to far to breathe
The surface seems just out of reach.

I’ve come so far from the writer
And part of me misses her
If I could just catch my breath
Re-evaluate my life
Am I going in the right direction?
Am I getting what I want?
Am I living the life I hoped for?
Could I ask for anything better?

But I used to write every day
And I feel like there’s something I’m missing
When I stare blankly at the screen
And the words don’t come as easy as they once seemed
Put her on a shelf, the writer, one day I’ll get back to her
You’re here on the train; you’ve got time to spew a few lines
But none of this will make any sense, and I’ll never look at it again.
I used to write
I used to feel
But I’ve come so far from the writer
And I miss her.

-February 18, 2006